My mom always told me the second you get engaged, eligible bachelors come out of the wood work for you. No, I’m not engaged. However, I feel like suddenly I’m juggling guys.
There’s my ex, who I wanted to have a serious conversation with today but instead he joked about waiting for me to profess my love to him. Which I can’t do as I finally did get over him and currently am not in love with him. I was for so long, but today, right this moment, I can’t say I am. Do I miss what we had, absolutely.
It’s heartbreaking to talk to him bc we both can track the problems that caused our relationship to fail. And he’s so proud of who I’ve become today which is where part of this new found attraction is coming from. Could I see myself with him, you bet, we had fun together, life was all full of laughter. But I can’t say I’m ready to uproot and move for him based on the last 6 months.
i told him today it’s not fair her ditched me when my life hit a rough patch. He says that the fact that he is still around after all the fighting, yelling, and screaming just proves how much he does care and that he does have something that keeps him coming back to me.
And then there’s eligible bachelor number two. Someone I’ve always been attracted to but the timing was never right. Someone who also seems to struggle with commitment issues but has a sudden interest in investing in a relationship with me. Someone who also lives not near me. Someone I’ve flirted with, made out with, possibly groped, but have never dated or really even carried on much of a conversation with, until recently. Spending hours talking none sense on the phone…I always thought he had an ulterior motive, but the more we talk, the more I believe him an his genuine interest in me.
What is with these guys and pursuing long distance???? A year ago I went on two dates in the span on one evening…I feel like I’m doing that with these two. Ones on the east coast, ones out west, so it’s like I put one to bed just to speak to the other before he goes to bed! I don’t even want to look at where my cell minutes are!!!!
Neither has “wifed up” and claimed me or asked me to be their girlfriend, so don’t hate the player, hate the game! And since neither is within two hours of me, clearly nothing physical is going on, besides the innuendos (from BOTH) and jokes about the physical effects I have on them (yes they are both guilty of this – guys will be guys).
And I’m just being me. Focusing on me and enjoying the smiles I’m getting from them both. Ideally, tomorrow I will wake up and meet a man that embodies the traits that I love about each of them. There is such a history with my ex and the dangling thoughts of the good we once had possibly becoming even better in a new situation. And then there’s the physical attraction with bachelor b and the giddiness of a new relationship and learning new things about someone.
What is a girl to do???
Go to bed and see what tomorrow brings!!!
Cest la vie!!