Tomorrow I leave for Abq bright and early at 6:45am. Not excited. This trip is giving me knots and anxiety already.
It won’t be fun. I don’t miss it. The itinerary is as follows -
– land in abq
– taxi to pick up my uhaul truck
– drive the uhaul to my storage unit
– pack up my life into a 14 foot truck
– check into my nice hotel (yes, I’m treating myself on this one at least)
– order pizza (there honestly isn’t a single place I miss and want to eat at right this moment and I’m not thrilled at the idea of driving a 14 foot uhaul truck around town) — so it will be my cheat meal.
– watch Greys anatomy an sleep
– wake up and hit satellite for coffee
– leave Abq without looking back
– drive for 12 hours with as few stops as possible
– back to the desert, bed, just in time to workout at 8am on Saturday
The city is huge and the last thing I want to do is run into anyone I know. I’ve burnt out a bit at the gym so two day off is just what the trainer ordered, so that is ok. And I’m in the works of something else coming together, so this is the closure I need to move forward for real.
It’s going to be an interesting, testing 72 hours. I just want to get it done. Head down and power through. It’s the last thing in the world that I want to do, but it has to be done. And the fact that I’m doing it by myself makes me feel strong. Maybe it sounds stupid, but I feel like it’s how I need it to be.
And once again, especially now, there is nothing there to even go back to. I have one friend left there, the rest dropped me the second I left. None of them have checked in on me to see how I’m doing or anything, just one – and we’ve been friends since college. Life is funny that way. Here, I’ve found a great support group of people who wouldn’t let me move alone, who’d be happy to help, who want to help in Abq but can’t. Funny the way it is.
I never felt like I belonged in New Mexico and now more than ever I see that my gut feelings were always spot on.
On to bigger and better things and finding out where I belong!!